I'm having a little March 12/13 PTSD this weekend. Anyone else feeling somber as we mark the one-year anniversary of when the world shut down?
3/12/20 has been recorded in my brain alongside 9/11/01 and 5/29/88, days in which the world changed. (The last of these was the day my dad died as I finished up my junior year of high school.) These are dates I will never just breeze through. They're tender days, remembering days. They are days that remind me that God is faithful, steadfast, unchanging, and in control, no matter how my world may suddenly shift.
One year ago today, my kids rushed into school to grab what they needed for an extended spring break. An extra week off after a busy winter sports season seemed like a nice, though silly, break. Flatten the curve? OK, whatever. We'll welcome any opportunity to sleep in. Some of my friends were whispering outrageous things. More than a two-week break? No more school for the rest of the year? Prom and graduation canceled? I laughed at the drama of it all. Things like that happen in movies, not in real life.
But here we are, one year later. My girl who had a drive-thru graduation now takes college classes online in her dorm room. My 16-year-old is currently out of school because of a quarantine. And worst of all, my 78-year-old father-in-law is in the hospital battling for his life against Covid-induced pneumonia. Would I ever have believed on March 13, 2020, that this is where we would be one year later?
It is a mercy that we can't see the future. We've made the journey through this past year one day at a time, literally having no clue what the next day would hold. That's the way God designed it to be. I worked on a Bible study years ago in which the author wrote that he didn't picture the Israelites crossing the Red Sea the way they did in the Ten Commandments movie. Instead of the water rolling back shore to shore, he pictured the water receding with each single step God's people took. While that doesn't quite fit with the description in Exodus, it does fit with how we usually experience life with God. He gives us what we need for today and asks us to trust Him with the mysteries of tomorrow. That's what we've done the past 365 days, and that's what we'll keep doing.
What is sustaining and encouraging me most right now is knowing that God has been preparing me my whole life for just such a time as this. And because I am prepared, I can thrive through this hard season, especially the difficulty of watching my husband grieve his sweet dad.
My friend Steph sent me an excerpt from an online article about a month ago that I have returned to again and again. It has redefined for me what it means to thrive: "Thriving isn't a feeling. It is evidence of preparing for a marathon, not a parade. It is a deep knowledge that you have trained for this, you have what it takes to be sustained through this, and you will flourish on the other side of this season. To thrive is to live in the season, not wait for it to pass. And the season itself is not in charge of how we experience it."*
Since I was 10 years old and encountered Jesus for the first time, I have been in training for the faith challenges of the past year. I am deeply, personally, intimately connected to the One who has trained me and who will sustain me. Because of that, I don't have to charge through this hard season in my own strength, searching for something I can control. I don't have to numb myself with Netflix and Cheetos and just wait for it to pass, either. I can fully live in this season, fully participate in it, knowing that God has equipped me for whatever I face today.
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
*"Thriving in the Winter: More than Waiting," Ministry Spark by David C Cook,
written by Christie Penner Worden
