Decision-making is not a great strength of mine. On the rare
occasion when my husband and I get a date night, we can stare at each other for
a half hour before we decide what we’re going to do. Our family went to
Disneyland last month, and the decision-making that led up to it threatened to
drain my every ounce of joy. And don’t even get me started on the “what’s for
dinner?” decision that haunts my every day.
Decisions are inevitable, and every once in a while, a big
one comes along. That’s happened to me in the past week. As I’ve worked through
the cumbersome decision-making process, a couple of discoveries have sprung up
along the way. I offer them up to encourage those of you who are facing big
decisions, too.
First is this: God leads us according to how He makes us. Why
would this be so eye opening to me? I should not be surprised that the God who
knows the number of hairs on my head would also know how I make decisions.
Anyone who’s taken a Myers-Briggs personality test knows that some of us make
decisions from our brains and others make it from their hearts. Technically, I have
an “F” for feeling in my personality profile, but it’s only because they stack
the deck and give females extra feeling points for some reason. I’m not one to
“follow my heart.” I follow my head, and it’s my head God started with in this
big decision. He revealed truth to me time and time again, yet I was still
holding back, waiting for some magical feeling to appear on the scene. It still
hasn’t shown up, and it may not. I'm OK with that because God spoke to me in the way He
knows I needed. For other people it’s just the reverse; they
need to feel it before they can think it. Will I ever fully grasp how well God
knows me? He reveals things to me with just the words I need. In just the way I need to hear it. At just the right time.
Second, some decisions should not be made by the person you
are today. Sometimes they need to be made by the person you want to become. Depending
on the day, I may be drawn to comfort and convenience more than stretching
faith or desperate dependence on God. OK, let’s be honest. Most days comfort
wins out. But I don’t want that to be my basis for making important decisions.
The person I want to become does not choose comfort over trusting God. She believes
that the best kind of growth comes from hard circumstances that are out of her
control and rely fully on the power of God. She intentionally puts herself in
these types of circumstances, knowing that when she reaches the end of herself,
God will show up in a big way. This person may not be in the driver’s seat on a
daily basis, but she—the faith-filled, hungry-for-God, led-by-the-Spirit
Leura—needs to be allowed to make the big decisions. The slightly whiney,
convenience-loving Leura can stick to the dinner-making kinds of decisions.
That’s what frozen pizzas are for.
May all the big decisions you face this week be made by the
you that you want to become, and may you delight in seeing God lead you in the way that He’s made
you.
