Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes you get
rained out. I remember hearing that a lot when I was a kid. And, boy, did I
hate to lose.
It doesn’t take long to figure out that losing is a part of
life. Disappointments are beyond our control; the only thing we can control is
our own response. Bet my kids wish they had a buck for every time they’ve heard
me say that. As tempting as it is, I don’t try to shield them from
disappointment. It’s not like I go out looking for it. I don’t have to. It’s
everywhere. And when it comes up, I try to force myself to be thankful for each
disappointment they have while in my care, where I can help them work through it in healthy
ways. As far as I can see, that doesn’t come naturally. It has to be taught and
modeled.
So lucky me. I’ve had lots of opportunities to work through
disappointment with two of my kids this week—and lots of opportunities to teach
and model. And you know what? I still hate losing. Addison was having a hard
week with character stuff anyway, and then she found out that she didn’t win
the cooking contest. I’m pretty sure she came in second, which, according to
what my dad used to say, is like kissing your sister. Even harder for me than
that was watching my son lose the student council election, for the second time
in a year, by two votes. And, oh, how badly he wanted it.
I hate those losses for both of them. I want them to have
more “thrill of victory” and less “agony of defeat.” What parent doesn’t? But
more than I want them to win, I desperately want them to grow in faith and
character. I want them to trust that God is always, always working for their
good, even in the disappointments. I want them to learn to say, honestly, “Not
my will but yours be done, Lord.” That kind of growth seems to happen a lot
more in the losses than it does in the wins.
Tonight we’re going out to celebrate our losses from this
week. We’re going to rejoice through them, because even though we may not feel
it right now, we believe deep down that we’re better because of them. And we’re
celebrating the kids’ great attitudes, because win or lose, rain or shine, Addison’s
gonna keep cooking, Braden’s gonna keep running for student council, and we’re
all gonna keep on growing.
