In 1899, Orison Swett Marden wrote a popular manual
called Character: The Grandest Thing in
the World. Marden knew his audience well. At that time, public life
centered on the farm, being neighborly, relating with extended family members,
and proving oneself a contributing part of the community. Character was grand,
and it was essential if you wanted to have a decent life.
Marden wrote another book in 1920, also well
received. This one was called Masterful
Personality. Everything had changed.
I learned this from Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking. I
actually learned many things from the book, but the transition from a Culture
of Character (prior to 1900) to a Culture of Personality has really got me
thinking. I got the book to help me understand my introverted husband and
oldest daughter. It shed light on them, but also on my son, who revels in
public speaking and can convince almost anyone he’s right about almost
everything. What I also got from the book was a history lesson on how our
culture became a place where image and salesmanship are everything. Or, as Cain
writes, “a culture in which every American was to become a performing self . .
. a salesman, a social operator, someone with a ready smile and a masterful
handshake, and the ability to get along with colleagues while simultaneously
outshining them.”
Cain cites the results of a study that counted the
words appearing most frequently in “self-help” manuals of the early twentieth
century versus those from the nineteenth century. In the 1800s, it was common
to find words like citizenship, duty, work, honor, reputation, morals, manners,
and integrity. But a cultural switch—triggered by mass industrialization, consumerism, and advertising—led to words like magnetic, fascinating, stunning, attractive,
dominant, forceful, and energetic. It seems the kinder, gentler United States
had vanished, replaced by a culture fueled by competition, popularity, and impressing
others at all costs. Shaving cream ads that once just presented the facts about
the shaving cream now used lines like these: “All around you people are judging
you silently” or “Critical eyes are sizing you up right now.”
And we wonder why we’re all neurotic!
Cain limited her discussion to in-person
personality, but we have ample evidence of how this plays out on the internet. What
is social media if not a global exercise in the Culture of Personality? Except
you get to pick your personality. A shy, timid teenager can be the life of the
virtual party. If he’s clever and deceptive enough, the 63-year-old recluse can
hang out with the cool kids. He may even get a 16-year-old girlfriend out of
the deal. We can all impress our friends with our “stunning” and “attractive”
lives online, while conveniently hiding the stuff that’s not so stunning or
attractive.
That’s not to say there’s no authentic relating on
the internet. There is. Relationships can be renewed and restored online, and
that’s a very good thing. Other mass media broadcast stories of do-gooders
around the globe that can motivate the rest of us. But I can’t help but lament what
was lost in the shift from character to personality. We so quickly reward those
with over-the-top personalities (the Kardashians come to mind) instead of those
who help their neighbors or forgive those who hurt them or simply love their
children well. Who at the water cooler is talking about humility and chastity?
Do we even look for noble character in our leaders and politicians, or are we
more interested in how entertaining they are in tweets or on late-night TV?
Orison Marden got it right the first time, back in
1899. Character is the grandest thing in the world. If only we lived like we
believe it.
