I’m in a group Bible study for the first time in, oh, 18 or so years, and my eyes are popping open to all sorts of things. It’s Beth Moore’s new study on the book of James, and in the midst of all those confusing opening words about the poor and the rich in James 1, she unleashes these insightful words:
“The only time I feel a vivid fellowship with suffering believers in other parts of the world is when I am humbled by extreme difficulty of my own. Otherwise I wonder how in Heaven’s name I will stand next to them around the throne of God and have any crowns at all to cast. Without frequent humblings, I am a cushy, lightweight Christian who doesn’t know the first thing about denying myself and carrying my cross.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever read something that made me want to be humbled, until now. I write stories all the time, for Compassion, about Christians whose lives have been nothing but a web of trials and suffering, and while I’ve been overwhelmed with sympathy and sadness for them, I’ve never wanted to join their club. Closer to home, I have a dear friend, a man in his late 60s, who has dealt with horrible physical pain for decades. I’ve heard it said of him, “He has the gift of suffering.” That makes me cringe. How can that be a spiritual gift, I’ve wondered. Yet he’s the last person on earth I’d call a cushy, lightweight Christian. I can almost see his cross dragging behind him, and still he’s one of my favorite people to be around.
I’ve never pictured myself standing around the throne of God with those who have suffered so greatly in this life. But I will. That gives me great pause. Heaven won’t be a place where we compare our woes. It’s not a competition where the one with the saddest life story wins at the end. But I think there’s a good chance the measure of our faith in God and the size of our character will be on full display. When are those things better shaped in us than through trials of many kinds?
My trials are so tiny, so small that it’s a stretch to even call them trials most of the time. But when I feel the pressure of them, I think I will find it a little easier to consider them pure joy as I consider the company I’ll have in heaven.
