Thankful Thoughts from a Stay-at-Home Mom (whose kids are all in school)

At the risk of being terribly predictable, I can’t help but write about thankfulness this week. If I were to write out my thankful list, it would be a thousand pages long, so I’ll stick to just one thing this time.

I am so thankful I get to be a stay-at-home mom right now.

It’s not a prestigious job. Two of my college friends—sharp women who could be eating up the corporate world—have told me recently how let down people are when they give their occupation as stay-at-home mom. I’ve seen that, too, and I used to always find a way to work “writer/editor” into the discussion rather than confess that what I really do is pour juice and fold clothes. It sounds even less noble when your kids are in school and people wonder what on earth you’re still doing at home. I’m thankful that the older I get, the less I care how it sounds and the more I realize how important it is.

I’m thankful for the time I have to serve more people in more ways than I ever have before. I can truly be there for people in a way I never could when I was working and managing my own family. I’m so thankful I get to be used by God that way. I’m thankful that I have time during the day for all the cleaning, cooking, purchasing, scheduling, and organizing that working moms have to squeeze into evenings and weekends.

I’m thankful that I don’t have a job that causes me to view my sick child as a nuisance or school vacation days as a dreaded inconvenience. I’m thankful that I can be home and fully available to my kids at the end of the school day. Last spring my oldest daughter went through a rough time at school. When she came through the front door at 3:35, I needed to be well caught up, well prayed up, well rested, and well nourished in order to help her develop through this in faith and character. I shudder to think how impatient and unmerciful the working me would have been.

I’m so very thankful that in this character-building period of my children’s lives—where they still care what I think and want to talk to me about everything—I can focus on them with little else competing for my attention. I’m thankful that I had a job I loved and was able to do it when they were little, when it felt like all I was doing was keeping them alive. (Yes, I know there was more to it than that.) But, oh, how I love these critical days of their late childhood and teen years when they’re figuring out the kinds of people they want to be. I wouldn’t want to miss any part of this. I feel like I was made for this, and I’m thankful I get to do it full time.

I have the privilege of sitting with each of my kids after school and talking through their day. I get to spend my evenings memorizing Awana verses with them and reading with them and practicing their school poems. Even when I’m not loving these things, I’m thankful.

I’m thankful that I have the time and opportunities to develop relationships with my children’s friends and their parents. I’m thankful—extra thankful—for a husband who doesn’t ask me to earn money and life circumstances that don't require me to. 

Sometimes we stay-at-home moms need a good pep talk to see the value in our work, to feel like we’re contributing members of society even if we don’t step out of the house all day. If that’s you, I hope this helps. Remember these things the next time you have to list your profession on a questionnaire or you’re asked what you do by someone who’s expecting something more grand than the answer you’ll give. Being a stay-at-home mom is a privilege, and for me, there is nothing more grand. That’s why I’m thankful. 

Decisions, Decisions

Decision-making is not a great strength of mine. On the rare occasion when my husband and I get a date night, we can stare at each other for a half hour before we decide what we’re going to do. Our family went to Disneyland last month, and the decision-making that led up to it threatened to drain my every ounce of joy. And don’t even get me started on the “what’s for dinner?” decision that haunts my every day.

Decisions are inevitable, and every once in a while, a big one comes along. That’s happened to me in the past week. As I’ve worked through the cumbersome decision-making process, a couple of discoveries have sprung up along the way. I offer them up to encourage those of you who are facing big decisions, too.

First is this: God leads us according to how He makes us. Why would this be so eye opening to me? I should not be surprised that the God who knows the number of hairs on my head would also know how I make decisions. Anyone who’s taken a Myers-Briggs personality test knows that some of us make decisions from our brains and others make it from their hearts. Technically, I have an “F” for feeling in my personality profile, but it’s only because they stack the deck and give females extra feeling points for some reason. I’m not one to “follow my heart.” I follow my head, and it’s my head God started with in this big decision. He revealed truth to me time and time again, yet I was still holding back, waiting for some magical feeling to appear on the scene. It still hasn’t shown up, and it may not. I'm OK with that because God spoke to me in the way He knows I needed. For other people it’s just the reverse; they need to feel it before they can think it. Will I ever fully grasp how well God knows me? He reveals things to me with just the words I need. In just the way I need to hear it. At just the right time. 

Second, some decisions should not be made by the person you are today. Sometimes they need to be made by the person you want to become. Depending on the day, I may be drawn to comfort and convenience more than stretching faith or desperate dependence on God. OK, let’s be honest. Most days comfort wins out. But I don’t want that to be my basis for making important decisions. The person I want to become does not choose comfort over trusting God. She believes that the best kind of growth comes from hard circumstances that are out of her control and rely fully on the power of God. She intentionally puts herself in these types of circumstances, knowing that when she reaches the end of herself, God will show up in a big way. This person may not be in the driver’s seat on a daily basis, but she—the faith-filled, hungry-for-God, led-by-the-Spirit Leura—needs to be allowed to make the big decisions. The slightly whiney, convenience-loving Leura can stick to the dinner-making kinds of decisions. That’s what frozen pizzas are for.

May all the big decisions you face this week be made by the you that you want to become, and may you delight in seeing God lead you in the way that He’s made you.