From Beth Moore’s study on the life of Jesus:
“I do dearly love
surprise encounters with Jesus Christ, but I think He is pleased when we live
our lives in expectancy. He delights in faith that fully expects Him to act.”
Do I live with a sense of expectancy? Do you? Do we wake up
expecting to see God in everything we do? Do we expect to be amazed?
I know that God is “just right there” and He could blow my
mind at any minute, but I have to admit that I am not as expectant as I’d like
to be. I can recall a few times in my life—crisis times, no surprise—when I
looked for Him at every turn, when I was aware of trusting Him every waking
hour, when I desperately needed Him to show up and was almost certain He would.
Of course I was not disappointed, yet as soon as the crisis faded away, I went
back to my non-expectant way of functioning.
Today I am filled to the brim with expectation. The cool
thing is that I’m not even in crisis. I’m just going to Russia. People do that
every day. I’ll be on a plane loaded with other people who are doing just that.
But will they carry the same sense of expectation I have, the hope and belief
that they’re about to encounter God in a most unusual way? I hope so because
it’s a pretty terrific feeling.
I have asked God to let me see a glimpse of His glory on
this trip. I know people talk about such things all the time, but my ask was not
made lightly. I have a very healthy fear of the Lord and His glory. When Isaiah
caught a glimpse of it (Isaiah 6), the first words out of his mouth were, “I am
ruined.” In order for Moses—Moses!—to see God’s glory, he had to be hidden in
the cleft of a rock with his eyes covered. This is not something we should ask without
some serious consideration.
In case you’re wondering, no, I don’t really expect to see
the face of God, or even His back like Moses did. But I am filled with
expectation about seeing His power. I believe I will see prayers answered, that
I’ll experience Him in ways I’ve never imagined, and that He might even slip in
a miracle. I long to have my preconceived notions about who God is and how He
works stripped away, to have my mind blown by how much bigger He is than I’ve
ever guessed. (Those of you who have been on missions trips are surely
thinking, “Oh, girl, you better hold on! You just might get what you wish
for.”)
I admit that a good deal of my thoughts right now are
wrapped around questions of bodily comfort (Will I have a decent pillow?), eating
(Is it better to know what’s in the soup? Or not?), and staying warm (Do these
layers make me look fat?). But because I’m taking my first overseas trip at 43
and not 18, I’m aware that such issues, while practical, can rob me of the
heart issues that are far more important. Every time I start to get worked up
over the trivial things, I ask God to direct my focus again to preparing my
heart. More than I need warm gloves or electrical converters, I need a heart
fully prepared to meet Him there. A fully expectant heart.
Eight days and counting.
