Whoa, Nellie, Second Verse

A little less than a year ago, I wrote about God slowing me down: “God is calling me to wait on Him. To be patient. To unlace my track shoes, slow my sprint to a saunter, stop looking for the next big thing, and simply wait.”

Apparently I wasn’t listening. There’s nothing like a good case of pneumonia to trap you in your bed and help you listen. Sometimes God speaks to us with a flashing neon sign, but more often, at least in my experience, He speaks one bulb at a time. A little lightbulb flickers to life in my mind, followed by another, and another, and another. And finally, with some discernment and a little guesswork, I get the message.

“WAIT.”

That’s His message to me. You wouldn’t think it would take an electrical engineer to connect those flashing lights. No, it just takes surrendering control of your plans and exercising patience. No sweat—unless you’re me. Then it comes with about 15 hours worth of sweat—and chills, and body aches, and nearly coughing up a lung. I’m not sure God “gives” people sickness, but I’m certain He allows it and uses it. He used it to bring to my mind Luke 16:10:

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.”

My plate today is filled with lots of little things—not the least of which is a lot of little people. And certainly, next to my relationship with God, my children and my husband are the most important parts of my world. But I’m also pretty used to them, and my eyes have been fixed on the next big thing—something new and different—the ministry adventure we feel is ahead for our family. All those extra hours in bed, however, gave me time to evaluate how I’m doing in the little, familiar things, and “faithful” was not the best descriptor. Of course I’m faithful to my family, my friends, and my commitments in the strictest sense, but am I doing my best? Giving my all? Can I say I’ve been entirely faithful? No. Not by a long shot.

Whatever “large ones” God has in mind for me are on hold. No one’s clamoring to buy our house. The house we wanted sold to someone else. The volunteering I planned to do hasn’t come to fruition. My biggest writing project just got canceled. The flashing lights (not to mention the pneumonia) are telling me that God wants me to focus on the little things in my life—faithfully, whole-heartedly, and patiently—and to wait for everything else.