Countenance

I'm always trying to figure out what big, great thing God wants me to do, what jaw-dropping assignment He's going to bring my way. Yet time and time again, He brings me back to the simplest of things. Most recently, it's been as basic as the look on my face.

Jean Fleming, in her book Pursue the Intentional Life, calls this the "ministry of countenance." She writes about the great possibility of every face-to-face encounter, whether that's a moment of chance eye contact in a crowd or a focused conversation with one other person. Something as basic as the expression on our faces makes a huge impact on those encounters.

I used to be a small part of a video team, and occasionally I got to interview someone for a video piece. I learned how to do this by watching my friend JoAnn, who taught me that the facial expression of the interviewer, though off-camera, was essential to getting a good interview. Because I couldn't use verbal cues to encourage people in their responses ("Wow! Yes! Amazing!"), I had to use my face. I tried to keep my eyes wide and locked in on them. I smiled and remained engaged with their every word. I nodded a lot. I tried to communicate with my face, "You're doing great. Keep going!"

I got the hang of it on a video shoot, but what about in real life? Part of living fully present, my life's mantra, is making sure my face matches my words. When I'm making chitchat with a mom in the school hallway, am I fully with her, or is my mind spinning 20 paces ahead, with who needs to be where at what time and what I'm going to feed them before they get there? And if my brain is planning, strategizing, troubleshooting, what does my countenance look like? Is it saying, "I'm with you, keep going!" to the person in front of me?

My kids aren't afraid to call me out when my face and my words don't match. I can be talking in what I think is a calm voice, and one daughter in particular will say, "Why are you angry with us?" When I tell her that I'm not, she says that while my words may not be angry, my face is. Ouch.

Is there anything we give less thought to than our countenance? What's on my face as I'm in front of the check-out person at Walmart? Or in front of my AWANA kids at the end of a long Wednesday night? What do my husband and my children see on my face day in and day out, when I'm doing dishes, taking out the trash, matching socks from the laundry basket? I'm thankful to Jean Fleming for making me more aware and for sharing her prayer with me:

"Lord, I want my face to minister to people, whether to someone delivering a talk or to the person sitting across from me. Will my face serve the purposes of God? Will it communicate that the love of God lives in me? I'm too often thoughtless in face-to-face encounters. In the years remaining, please express your love and concern for people through me. I offer my face to you. Make it a channel of blessing."

Today, instead of looking for some big assignment from God, I simply offer Him my face. Who knows what He can do through me when my countenance is one of love, tenderness, affection, approval, and blessing?