Lucky 13

Kevin and I recently celebrated our 13th anniversary. We returned to the place we got engaged—our first time back to the Antlers Hotel since that gray day in January 1995. It was a Wednesday morning, I believe, when I walked out of my apartment to head to work; instead, I was met by a limo and a very peaked Kevin, my boyfriend of 10 months. Since limos were not a regular part of our dating life, I suspected that this was the Big Day. I wonder what we talked about as we weaved through the streets of Colorado Springs on our way to the Antlers? All I remember was being consumed with thoughts of my bad hair day and the ugly jacket I was wearing. (It took some of us longer to creep out of the ’80s than it did the rest of you.) Not exactly the Cinderella-look I had envisioned.

We ate Belgian waffles in the hotel restaurant before parking ourselves on a nicely-chilled bench in the courtyard. Neither Kevin nor I can remember the words he said prior to pulling out that blue velvet box. Really, if we’re being honest, for a girl it’s all about what’s inside the velvet box. Yeah, yeah, I complete you and all, but let’s see what’s in the box already. I loved the contents of the box, the man with the dreamy blue eyes who crouched before me, and the vision in my head of what married life would be. So I said sure. Just like that, seven months and a lot of credit-card debt later, we were hitched.

Looking out on the hotel courtyard during our recent stay, I tried to picture what those two crazy kids on that bench were thinking. At 24 and 26, awkward dating experiences, college degrees and first jobs behind us, we felt so ready to jump into the next stage of life. But how little we knew about each other. When you really think about it, though, is there any amount of time that can fully prepare you to live every remaining day of your life in intimate proximity with another person? I don’t think so. Nothing could have prepared us for the emotional adventures of having children together, struggling with a new business together, delivering a stillborn baby together.

It’s quite a gamble, actually. A gamble that requires huge commitment. These are the things I knew nothing of as I sat on that bench ogling my first-ever diamond. A bride-to-be thinks about fabric swatches and flatware and where to seat her grandfather’s flamboyant new girlfriend. She’s not thinking about the moments of tense words and hard decisions that unfold into a lifetime. Maybe that’s for the best. If we really knew how much work it was going to be, who would be so quick to say yes? I’m just thankful that though I was clueless, I was also very “lucky.” (Yeah, like I believe in luck.) The more I get to know the man behind the dreamy blue eyes, the more thankful I am to be the one he chose.