Waiting and Yearning

I am a Christmas girl through and through, but I have to admit that I haven't acknowledged advent much in the past. Beyond the lighting of the candles at church, it hasn't really registered in my mind. Of course I'm excited for Christmas, but I spend more time on Christmas cards and shopping than intentionally anticipating the coming of Christ.

Not this year. This year I'm all in. I'm expectant, eager, yearning. That's a funny word to me--yearning. I'm not much of a yearner. If I yearn for something, it's either for something easily attainable (a bowl of ice cream) or something impossibly unmeasurable (more faith). As a result, I don't usually yearn. But I've also never had a child living 1,500 miles away. I've never gone 3 1/2 months, or even 3 1/2 weeks, without seeing one of my children. Let me tell you, there's some yearning going on.

Many weeks ago, my youngest daughter made a paper chain counting down the days to Braden's return home. It went ceiling to floor. Today, it has two links. Two measly little links! We are so close. Except that the southeast is getting the storm of a generation. Charlotte, North Carolina, in particular, is getting dumped on. I've never given Charlotte a thought, but tonight, all of my thoughts and prayers are directed right there. Because the route from Virginia to Colorado goes straight through Charlotte, at least on American Airlines.

And so we wait with great expectation. This non-yearning mom finds herself yearning like never before. The last time I remember being so desperately eager for something was when this same child of mine was nine days overdue and I was so tired of being pregnant that I would have pulled him out through my nose if I thought it would have worked. Here I am again, 19 years later, praying that he will just get here already so the party can begin.

The anticipating, waiting, and longing are so present with me that they shape my thoughts and perspective. They have completely shaped my season of advent. I think of the Israelites, God's chosen people living as hostages in their own land, crying out for deliverance: "O come, o come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel. Come and cheer our spirits by thine advent here." That is yearning! Their hearts were ready, their eyes focused. Only their Savior would satisfy.

Only my Savior satisfies. My head has always known it, but today I feel it. As delightful as the ham and carols and presents and family will be on Christmas day, they can't begin to compare to Him. As much as my heart will race and my eyes will leak when I see Braden's face, even that can't hold a candle to what it will be like to see my Lord and Savoir some day.

Come home, my son. I can't wait to see you! Come soon, my Lord. I can't wait to be with you.

Thank you for the gift of yearning.