I'm reminded again that one of the greatest gifts we can give to another person is our focused, personal attention. A group of my friends recently traveled to Russia to host a retreat for women who grew up in orphanages and are now trying to raise their own children--with very few role models or personal examples to draw on. My friends taught classes on parenting, conflict-resolution, self-esteem and the like, but the most meaningful thing they may have done was to paint the Russian women's nails. It's intimate work. It's "I-care-about-you" work, especially in this context. No money was paid; no expectations were made. It was just one woman focusing all of her attention on another, serving her humbly and with love just like Galatians 5:13 tells us to do.
Children who grow up in institutions don't get personal attention. Moms doing the hard work of raising children, sometimes alone or with little support, are rarely acknowledged by others. I don't know many American women who have had another person look them in the eye and say, "You're doing a great job raising your children. Don't lose heart!" How much more must this mean to someone who's never really been seen at all.
To be seen. It's one of our most essential human needs. It's why God reveals Himself, in the book of Genesis, as El Roi, the God who sees us. And not just us, but you. And me. And her over there sitting by herself in the corner, thinking no one in the world notices her or cares about her. God notices! And I think He loves it when we follow His example.
Not many of us will find ourselves painting the nails of grown-up orphans in Russia. But surely we can all find someone who needs to be "seen" this week. Cooks at restaurants, janitors at schools and churches and airports, workers taking a smoke break outside Walmart. These and so many like them serve us behind the scenes, and we rarely take notice. I urge you to pay attention in the next several days. "See" someone you've never seen before. Give that person your focused, personal attention, even if it's just for 10 seconds. That 10 seconds could make all the difference in someone's day. Or maybe, because El Roi is such a big God, it could change a life.
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Life Is Good: A Fresh Message
In the wake of five suicides in our school community over the past 14 months--four students and one parent--and six at a neighboring high school, my friends and I are left heartbroken and confused. Perhaps the most puzzling part to me is that many of these kids were followers of Christ.
Each of these stories is unique, personal, and complicated. I can't possibly know or understand the reasons for their actions, and I certainly won't make any attempt at blanket cause-and-effect statements. But I will share the thoughts God has given me personally as I relate to my own kids.
Vision casting is one of my biggest parental roles, and this has come as a surprise to me. When I was 16, my head was exploding with vision. I had such big plans for my life, such hope-filled dreams. I attended camps and signed up for activities that would give me a bigger taste of the grown-up world. I instinctively knew that there was so much more to life than high school, that this was just a drop in the bucket of my existence, and that bigger, better things awaited me "out there." (I was right!) My own kids don't seem to be hardwired this way. They have vision for tonight's homework and their next meal. They might have a vague sense of anticipation for the next school break or summer vacation. But big dreams for their lives? Not so much.
I've tried to help them build vision for the future, and I've also spent a lot of time preparing them to live in a culture that's hostile to the values they've grown up with. Like all good Christian parents, I've been teaching my kids to see themselves as strangers in this world ("This world is not your home!" they've heard me say since they were toddlers) and to expect this life to be challenging at best and an out-and-out battle at worst. They hear Christian adults tell them: "Put on the armor of God, kids, because there's a battle raging over your hearts and minds!" With a bit more reflection, I see that this might not be the best way to beckon them to a captivating adult life.
It's all true, and it's hugely important. But I wonder if I, and others like me, haven't unwittingly left out the part about how good this life is. Do I emphasize the fallenness of this life way more than the beauty of it? Have we been so busy preparing for a cultural war that we've lost sight of God's daily mercies and graces? Am I helping them "taste and see that the Lord is good" in equal proportion to teaching them how to do battle with the sword of the Spirit (God's Word, according to Ephesians 6:17)?
As I help them with vision, is it about college and careers and healthy marriages more than purpose and mission? Do they know that they're part of God's Big Story, that He's given them a unique role in something so much bigger than themselves? They're here to point the way to Life and Truth and Hope--to Jesus. They're His hands and feet, His ambassadors, His vessels on this earth. They've got work to do, not because God needs them (He doesn't), but because He has chosen them to play a part in His redemption of the world. They've got purpose--rich, deep, meaningful purpose, and nothing will fill their hearts and souls like living out the assignment He's given them. And oh, the goodness they'll taste and see along the way!
I am freshly convicted to start focusing on these things. Life is good. That's more than a t-shirt motto; it's beautiful truth. Life is good because God is good. Help me, Lord, to live and speak that message every day.
Each of these stories is unique, personal, and complicated. I can't possibly know or understand the reasons for their actions, and I certainly won't make any attempt at blanket cause-and-effect statements. But I will share the thoughts God has given me personally as I relate to my own kids.
Vision casting is one of my biggest parental roles, and this has come as a surprise to me. When I was 16, my head was exploding with vision. I had such big plans for my life, such hope-filled dreams. I attended camps and signed up for activities that would give me a bigger taste of the grown-up world. I instinctively knew that there was so much more to life than high school, that this was just a drop in the bucket of my existence, and that bigger, better things awaited me "out there." (I was right!) My own kids don't seem to be hardwired this way. They have vision for tonight's homework and their next meal. They might have a vague sense of anticipation for the next school break or summer vacation. But big dreams for their lives? Not so much.
I've tried to help them build vision for the future, and I've also spent a lot of time preparing them to live in a culture that's hostile to the values they've grown up with. Like all good Christian parents, I've been teaching my kids to see themselves as strangers in this world ("This world is not your home!" they've heard me say since they were toddlers) and to expect this life to be challenging at best and an out-and-out battle at worst. They hear Christian adults tell them: "Put on the armor of God, kids, because there's a battle raging over your hearts and minds!" With a bit more reflection, I see that this might not be the best way to beckon them to a captivating adult life.
It's all true, and it's hugely important. But I wonder if I, and others like me, haven't unwittingly left out the part about how good this life is. Do I emphasize the fallenness of this life way more than the beauty of it? Have we been so busy preparing for a cultural war that we've lost sight of God's daily mercies and graces? Am I helping them "taste and see that the Lord is good" in equal proportion to teaching them how to do battle with the sword of the Spirit (God's Word, according to Ephesians 6:17)?
As I help them with vision, is it about college and careers and healthy marriages more than purpose and mission? Do they know that they're part of God's Big Story, that He's given them a unique role in something so much bigger than themselves? They're here to point the way to Life and Truth and Hope--to Jesus. They're His hands and feet, His ambassadors, His vessels on this earth. They've got work to do, not because God needs them (He doesn't), but because He has chosen them to play a part in His redemption of the world. They've got purpose--rich, deep, meaningful purpose, and nothing will fill their hearts and souls like living out the assignment He's given them. And oh, the goodness they'll taste and see along the way!
I am freshly convicted to start focusing on these things. Life is good. That's more than a t-shirt motto; it's beautiful truth. Life is good because God is good. Help me, Lord, to live and speak that message every day.
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