Our New World and Why I Sometimes Love It

Integrity can be simply defined as "who you are when no one else is looking." It's getting harder and harder to find a time when no one else is looking.

A young ESPN reporter is the latest to realize this. I had never heard of Britt McHenry until this morning, but on today's news scrolls and websites, she's the poster child for cruel, arrogant behavior. After having her car towed, McHenry berated the attendant at the towing company in a truly horrible way. Maybe she was late for work or an important appointment. Maybe she'd had some bad news earlier that day. Any one of us can snap in the midst of a bad day, but what that "snap" looks like says everything about who we are at our core. Bad days make or break personal integrity. In this young woman's case, it was a serious break, made public for all the world to see.

Personal integrity has never been so public. Cameras are everywhere. What we think we're doing in private is just a click away from a global viewing audience. This is horrifying--who wants to be featured on an internet montage of humiliated nose pickers? (And come on, don't think it couldn't be you.) But I also kinda love it, especially in cases where people are forced to be accountable for their bad behavior.

You can't cuss out your kid's soccer coach anymore without consequence. You can't sing racist songs on a fraternity trip without the whole world knowing. You can't hit your girlfriend in an elevator without getting caught. Even on your worst day, it's not OK to be a jerk. (One of my favorite parenting lines: Your pain does not excuse your sin.) Now more than ever, people are on the lookout for jerks. Act like a jerk, show up on YouTube. Count on it. And maybe by counting on it, we'll all be a little nicer to each other.

Who we are when we think no one is looking is truly who we are. The rest is smoke and mirrors. What we do and say matters. How we treat people matters. Patience and kindness aren't just biblical words; they're things that make the world a better place for all of us. I have a love/hate relationship with the internet, but if it can help us learn these lessons, then today I'm a fan.